Understanding Sexual Anxiety and How Therapy Can Help

Sexual intimacy can be one of the most vulnerable and fulfilling parts of a relationship—but for many people, it’s also a source of stress, fear, or shame. If you’ve ever felt anxiety before, during, or after sex—or if you avoid sexual experiences altogether—you’re not alone. Sexual anxiety is common, and it’s highly treatable.

As a therapist who specializes in sex therapy, I work with individuals and couples to understand the roots of their sexual anxiety and develop tools to feel more confident, connected, and at ease in their intimate lives.

What Is Sexual Anxiety?

Sexual anxiety refers to distressing thoughts, fears, or physical tension related to sexual activity or performance. It can show up in many ways, including:

• Worrying about sexual performance or not being “good enough”

• Avoiding sex due to fear, shame, or past trauma

• Trouble getting or maintaining arousal

• Difficulty communicating desires or boundaries

• Fear of being judged, rejected, or misunderstood

• Feeling disconnected or dissociated during intimacy

It’s important to note that sexual anxiety isn’t a personal flaw—it’s often a response to past experiences, cultural messages, relationship patterns, or mental health challenges like anxiety disorders, depression, or trauma.

What Causes Sexual Anxiety?

Sexual anxiety can stem from many overlapping sources:

• Performance pressure and perfectionism

• Body image concerns or shame about physical appearance

• Past sexual trauma or negative experiences

• Cultural or religious messages about sex and pleasure

• Sexual orientation or gender identity concerns

• Neurodivergence (e.g., ADHD or autism) that affects sensory experience, communication, or social dynamics

• Relationship conflicts or unresolved emotional distance

Therapy can help unpack these influences and create space for healing, exploration, and growth.

How Can Sex Therapy Help with Sexual Anxiety?

Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy that focuses on concerns related to sexuality, intimacy, and sexual functioning. In therapy, we explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment and at a pace that feels safe for you.

Here’s what you can expect:

• Building a safe, affirming space to talk about sex openly

• Identifying thought patterns that contribute to anxiety and replacing them with more compassionate, realistic ones

• Exploring your body’s responses with mindfulness or somatic approaches

• Developing communication skills around consent, desire, and boundaries

• Reconnecting with pleasure—in whatever way feels right for you

• Addressing any relational dynamics that may be contributing to anxiety

If you’re in a relationship, couples therapy can also be a powerful space to work through sexual anxiety together, strengthen emotional intimacy, and build trust around physical closeness.

Working with a Therapist Who Gets It

You deserve a therapist who understands that sex is not just physical—it’s emotional, relational, and deeply personal. Whether you’re navigating sexual anxiety related to trauma, neurodivergence, identity, or life stressors, my goal is to offer therapy that is affirming, practical, and tailored to your unique needs.

Therapy isn’t about achieving a “perfect” sex life—it’s about helping you feel safe, empowered, and connected in your body and relationships.

Ready to Start Your Healing Journey?

If you’re struggling with sexual anxiety, know that you don’t have to face it alone. Therapy can be a powerful step toward healing, confidence, and deeper intimacy.

I offer in-person sessions in Fair Lawn, NJ, and telehealth throughout New Jersey. Reach out today to schedule a free 15-minute consultation—I’d be honored to support you. matisicherer.com