How Animal-Assisted Therapy Can Help Couples Heal and Connect
When couples walk into therapy, they often carry a lot with them—stress, conflict, hurt feelings, or simply the weight of day-to-day life. Adding a therapy animal into the room can create a unique shift. For many couples, the calming presence of a dog or other animal helps lower emotional intensity, reduce defensiveness, and open the door for softer, more compassionate communication. This approach, called Animal-Assisted Therapy (AAT), can be especially supportive for couples who find traditional talk therapy intimidating or overwhelming.
A Calming Presence in the Room
Animals bring something into therapy that words alone cannot. Research shows that simply being in the presence of a calm, well-trained animal can lower heart rate, reduce blood pressure, and ease feelings of anxiety. For couples, this can mean less tension during difficult conversations.
When a therapy dog curls up at a couple’s feet or nudges a hand for attention, it often shifts the atmosphere in the room. Partners who were tense may find themselves softening, smiling, or pausing to share the moment. This can break cycles of escalation and remind the couple of shared tenderness. The animal’s presence can act like a grounding anchor, giving each partner something soothing to focus on when emotions rise.
Facilitating Emotional Connection
For some couples, it can feel risky to turn toward their partner with vulnerability. A therapy animal can make this step easier. Stroking a dog or having an animal close by can increase oxytocin—the hormone linked to bonding and trust. As a result, partners may feel safer expressing emotions, asking for comfort, or listening to one another without judgment.
Therapists can also use the animal as a relational “bridge.” For example, a couple may be asked to take turns giving the dog a command together, practice coordinated play, or even observe how their communication patterns impact the animal’s response. These activities help highlight dynamics in a gentle, non-threatening way, while also strengthening teamwork.
Reducing Stress During Conflict
Conflict conversations in therapy are often the most challenging for couples. It’s normal for sessions to bring up raw feelings, old wounds, or heated disagreements. A therapy animal can provide a counterbalance in these moments.
For instance, if one partner begins to escalate, the therapist may encourage them to pause and take a breath while petting the dog. This small break can lower physiological arousal and prevent flooding, helping the couple re-engage with more clarity and compassion. The presence of the animal communicates a nonverbal message: slow down, you’re safe, you can do this differently.
When Animal-Assisted Therapy May Not Be the Right Fit
As with any intervention, AAT isn’t for everyone. Some important considerations include:
Allergies: If either partner has allergies to dogs (or the specific therapy animal), AAT may cause more discomfort than benefit. Therapists usually screen for this before introducing an animal.
Fears or Phobias: Not everyone feels comfortable around animals. A history of negative experiences, cultural perspectives, or simple preference may make having an animal in the room counterproductive.
Distraction: While many couples find an animal grounding, some may find themselves too distracted to focus on therapeutic work. For example, if one partner is preoccupied with playing with the dog rather than engaging in the session, the animal may not serve the intended purpose.
Trauma Triggers: In rare cases, an animal may inadvertently activate trauma memories, especially for clients with a history of animal-related harm. This is something that should be assessed carefully beforehand.
The role of a therapist is to ensure that Animal-Assisted Therapy supports—not detracts from—the couple’s progress. Informed consent, discussion of comfort levels, and clear boundaries with the therapy animal are always essential.
Building Connection Beyond the Therapy Room
One of the hidden strengths of AAT is how it encourages couples to think about soothing, connection, and playfulness outside of therapy. Many partners notice that after experiencing calm with a therapy dog, they’re more motivated to bring those qualities into their own lives.
They may find themselves taking more walks together, playing with their own pets at home in more intentional ways, or creating rituals of shared comfort. These small, everyday practices can strengthen a couple’s bond and remind them of the importance of slowing down and enjoying one another.
Final Thoughts
Animal-Assisted Therapy is not a magic solution, but for many couples, it offers a gentle and supportive way to approach hard conversations. The animal’s calming presence can help partners de-escalate, practice softer communication, and access moments of tenderness that might otherwise feel unreachable.
When combined with evidence-based couples therapy methods, AAT can be a powerful tool to help partners repair disconnection and build a stronger, more compassionate relationship.
If you’re curious about how Animal-Assisted Therapy might support your relationship, I’d be glad to explore whether it’s the right fit for you.
Looking for Animal Assisted Therapy in Fair Lawn, NJ?
At Mati Sicherer Mental Health Services, I offer trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults navigating Neurodiversity and related challenges.
Reach out today to schedule a free consultation